There are a number of stories I can tell about Dad’s Mother. From being asked/told not to Come Out to her to the bits and pieces I (thought I) knew of her story.
Although I regret not getting to know the person behind the title (likewise with my parents and other grandparents) I did learn more from my siblings; see my brother’s guest post. Today’s post is based largely on the recollections of my siblings, information emailed from Dad’s younger brother, and genealogical research.
As I prepare to retire back to S/W Ontario from Ohio amid the chaos and hate stoked by the current regime, I wonder if mine will be the last generation of this family that spends significant time living on each side of the ’49th Parallel’ (it’s a family tradition). And what we may lose as a result. Farther down the page is a look at some of my ancestors who moved across the Canada-US border to live some time in each country.
I’ll use my Grandma as the basis of this post; I have thoughts on what she may’ve learned living for some years on each side of the border.
Grandma (by which I mean my Dad’s mother) was born in Ontario in 1900. Her maternal Grandfather (George W. Ross) was Premier of Ontario; approximately like a US State Governor. Her ancestors and close relatives carried very British surnames; Brown, Ross, Campbell, Cameron, McKinnon, Redfern… Her mother, who passed when she was just 9 years old, had been an artist and reportedly raising her daughter in a ‘proper British household’. In My Coming Out Story I described her as “more Victorian than Queen Vic herself; she had an upper lip that could carry the weight of the world”
Her father would remarry and travel in search of business opportunities, so after her mother passed she was taken to a relative in New York to be raised.
I can only guess that while she gave up some of the comfort and perhaps luxury of her early life, she would experience many things that might not’ve presented themselves if she had stayed in Ontario.
She attended school in the US. She earned a BSc degree- majoring in Chemistry- from Allegheny College. That offered, Orville says, a “liberal arts and Science devout Methodist curriculum including cultivation with Greek dance, interpretative theatre, the arts, choir and athletics.” She then “pursued laboratory research at Pittsburgh’s Melon Institute. She was the only woman. And as at Allegheny, the men harassed her for being a woman scientist.”
Now it is possible that, if her mother had lived many more years, she might have persevered in the same field starting with a degree from the University of Toronto. I doubt it; my thought is that polite British- Canadian society would have been a stronger restraint if she had not left. But I might just be projecting.
One strong influence Orville says was “her Aunt Nel, [her mother’s sister] University of Toronto’s first woman graduate, first woman member of the Toronto Transportation Commission, the one who sacrificed her first year of marriage to succour [sic] ten year old Marguerite in New York City. (Although FamilySearch.com has nothing to suggest Nel ever lived in the USA.)
Uncle Orville tells me that Grandma was vacationing in Muskoka (Ontario) when she was introduced to a young Presbyterian minister, recently arrived to Canada from Ireland. Their first date was a game at Chicago’s Wrigley Field. After which, Orville writes, “[t]hey courted and corresponded. They wed. [1926] She was now where her Canadian roots belonged.” Elsewhere I wrote “She gave up a job, possibly a career, to marry a Man of the Cloth” and wondered “Was this a great love story?”
Orville writes that her “sense of equality with men was reflected by example in church work, the University Women’s Club, Pollution Probe and as a pioneer woman elder in her local church,” My brother writes that after Grandpa died she “went on to live another lifetime: more than 28 years. In the mornings, she used to sneak on to the property of local industrial plants to fill bottles with water samples that she sent off to the government for environmental analysis.”
Perhaps her time in the USA contributed to the wonderful, strong person that I didn’t actually know. Or it may’ve been her core nature or the influence of Aunt Nel, or a bit of everything.
Often times the influence[s] a person experiences by living for a time in a different country are hard to quantify- beyond the common wisdom view that many Canadians spend time in the US to advance a career and have higher earnings. I’m unable to really articulate the impact my living in the USA for 30 years has had.
I didn’t move down here just to pursue capitalist success; after too many funerals, the realization that I would most likely end up living past the age of 40, and no idea what that could mean, I needed to get out. Ghosts aren’t bound by international boundaries; I picked the US as it felt a better fit than Montreal or Vancouver- and I wasn’t ready to go back to a small city or rural life. At the core, my dissociative amnesia makes it unlikely I’ll ever truly know.
Perhaps neither country will really lose out if my niblings and great-niblings all decide to live their entire life in whichever country they begin. I hate to think that could be happening due to this current regime, rather than a deep satisfaction at where they live.
The Cross-Border Family:
(Years aren’t given for folks born after 1900)
My Maternal Line:
# Mom was born and grew up in the USA then moved to Canada after marrying Dad (she had spent many summers up here; see below about her Mom). During Mom’s second marriage she and Bill moved to the USA (Richmond VA) for a short time, but she did return to Canada- her grandkids perhaps being a major factor.
# Mom’s older brother was born in Canada- not sure if it was on a vacation or before their Mom moved to the US. I’m told he moved South and became a US Citizen specifically to join the USAF. He had four kids with his first wife; all remained living in the USA as far as I know.
# Nanna (Mom’s mother) was born in S/W Ontario, outside of Hamilton. She married an American, and did live in the States until their divorce. She then returned to Canada- and lived with my family until she entered a nursing home. She had 6 siblings; one died in Europe during WW-I while the rest lived and died in Ontario. 1897-1981.
# Nanna’s Great Grandfather (my 3xGreat Grandfather) was born in Johnstown PA (not far from where my Husband grew up), moved to Ontario, had about a dozen kids. The sources aren’t solid, but his parents and a number of his siblings seem to have been actively living across the Canada-USA border as well. He lived 1794-1862
# As far as I know Mom’s Dad was born, lived and died entirely in the USA- that part of the family tree is rather barren of detail. Just names for 2 more generations; without more detail. He lived 1897-1967.
My Paternal Line:
# Dad was born, lived and died in Ontario. There are other posts about him- this is just the genealogy stuff here.
# Orville (Dad’s younger brother) was born and lives in Canada.
# Orville has 2 children, both born in Canada. First is a daughter who is married to an American citizen; they live in the USA as of last report. Orville’s son has only lived, as far as I know, in Canada.
# Grandma (Dad’s Mom) was born in Ontario in 1900. Her Mother passed in 1909, and she was raised in New York. As noted above, she moved back to Canada after marriage and passed away in British Columbia. She lived 1900-1992.
# Grandma’s Mom died Dec.1, 1909. Born, lived and died in Ontario- 1870-1909.
# Grandma’s Father (my Great Grandfather) was born in Canada, but crossed the Canada-USA border pursuing various business opportunities. He settled in the US before being naturalized in 1922 (in Pittsburgh). He passed away while in Columbus, OH (where I live for now) and was buried back in Ontario. 1870-1936
# His Mother (my Great Great Grandmother) was born, lived and died in Ontario. 1838-1899.
# His Father (my Great Great Grandfather) was born in Ireland and immigrated to Canada (date unconfirmed). There’s no indication that he lived in the USA, although he passed away in Erie PA just 10 months before his daughter-in-law passed away. He is buried in Ontario. 1826-1909
# Grandpa (Dad’s Dad) was born, as noted above, in Ireland. He, four of his siblings, and their mother, all moved to Canada. Not sure but I believe they didn’t all cross at the same time. There’s no record of any of them living in the USA. Grandpa lived 1889-1964.
