What are my pronouns? Well, I’m much less concerned with what word you use than your intention in doing so. We who’ve been abused know all too well what power lies in words.
A side note, and an explanation. One of the Post Categories here is LGBTITQQ2S. Generally I stick with LGBT/Q in speech or writing. The category name is an abbreviation for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, Transgender, Intersex, Transexual, Queer, Questioning, 2-Spirits– chosen some ago before certain of those words were deprecated.
And because the teenage boy in me laughs at T i T and the Q Q eyes.
As I note on Queer Connexions:
Queer is more than just shorthand for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual or Trans; for me Queer encompasses diversity in Sexual Orientation, Sexual Proclivities, Gender Identity, and Gender Expression. That includes who we engage with sexually/sensually and how. From whether or not traditional romance is involved, to how long a relationship is expected to last and how many participants. It also includes who we are and how we experience & express our personal gender.
I Came Out as gay in 1978, and have identified as Queer for a couple of decades. Not only is “Queer” more accurate, it distinguishes me from what I call Nearly Straight gay men. That builds on some themes and concepts presented in What Makes a Man, a Man? as well as Common Courtesy and Uncommon Interests.
I appreciate that many folx will not join in reclaiming “Queer” and I really do get it. How we process trauma is as unique as our beautiful tortured souls.
There are plenty of other words that we, collectively, are reclaiming. Read about both the Q and F words, and my work to remove the shame in slut-shaming. Oh, and there’s another Q word.
A few other posts here look at some words that have special meaning within queer communities:
femme fashion (‘Now that we’re friends I can use that word, right?’);
girlfirend– this was written before gurl broke out of our community into the wild.
See also Coming Out, again near the bottom of About Me.
I decided to attempt some levity around the notion of pronouns v. amateurs. And the design shown here is now available at the fundraising section of my Print On Demand partner. All proceeds go toward the cost of my husband’s application for Canadian Permanent Resident status and our eventual (hopefully, soon) move north.
So, my pronouns are whatever you wish to use that conveys, at a minimum, that you recognize and respect my inherent worth as a fellow human being.
